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Aging Follies: Changes You’ll See When 60 Becomes 70

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Aging Follies: Changes You’ll See When 60 Becomes 70
Image by lightsource / licensed from Deposit Photos

Getting older may not always be much fun, but you have the privilege of both living longer and learning stuff along the way. Herewith, a few personal observations, comparing age 60 to age 70.

Sleeping.

I don’t sleep as well at 70 as I did at 60. More tossing, more turning, more achey joints, and therefore: more midday naps. Although those are usually delicious.

Bending over.

Never gave it a thought ten years ago; now, with the dreaded back spasm lurking in the shadows, I tend to bend over s-l-o-w-l-y. I finally understand why all those old guys move in slow motion.

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Aging Follies: Changes You’ll See When 60 Becomes 70

Temper.

On the one hand, I’ve achieved a bit more serenity, and have virtually no outbursts of temper. On the other hand, I have even less tolerance for idiocy, and I’m more likely to call it out. Personal peril be damned. “You mean you didn’t see me backing out of that parking spot? Moron!”

Driving.

Speaking of which, I drive a little slower, especially when I have someone else in the car, and certainly to placate my wife, who presses her foot into a ‘phantom’ brake beneath the passenger seat — “wife-speak” for slow down. Even on my own though, I tend to not speed up when the light turns yellow. At 60 I would race through those yellows; at 70, I think, “maybe I won’t make it.”

Wisdom.

No, really. I feel like I get more things now that at any other time of my life. I see behaviors in younger people that I have left behind. They include drinking and drugging into oblivion, dangerous stunts, and working ten-hour days. I’m incredulous of those behaviors; don’t they know life’s too short? They will!

Volume control.

Note the sine curve below. At birth you hear just fine; as a teen and young adult you want those speakers CRANKED. Then as a mature adult the volume goes back to quiet/normal. As a senior — Crank. It. Up! Often accompanied by the polite “could you repeat that?” or the more colloquial, “WHAT?” I didn’t say that at 60 at all. Now….well….you know.

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Odd growth.

Why do my nails need trimming more often? Not to mention every older man’s antagonist, ear and nose hair. At 60 I barely noticed it. At 70, I’m forever chasing those excess follicles via clippers, razors, scissors, even eyeing our serrated steak knives with lust.

Sex, Money And Senior Citizens

Oh, lust.

Let’s face it, there are less leaves on the tree. Intimacy happens less often. The mind-body connection is full of static, and I’ll leave it at that.

Appetite.

I don’t think I eat more at 70 than I did at 60, but I’m more acutely aware of when I get hungry and I definitely eat (or snack) more often. I attribute this to the body’s loss of efficiency over time. If you know another reason, I’d love to hear it. And while my sugar cravings haven’t decreased, my efforts to suppress them surely have.

People watching.

I don’t so as much of it. Am I jaded? Have I seen it all? When I lived in New York City, I used to marvel at the genetic stew reflected on so many faces. Such interesting combinations. Now I don’t even look that much, though admittedly I live in a more homogenous town.

Clothes. 

I own more shoes now. I don’t know why. I seem to have everything else I need, and don’t buy new clothes. I may be a tad more judgmental, though. When bell bottoms popped back onto the fashion scene 10 years or so ago, I was sooooo annoyed. As a child of the 1960s-70s, my reaction was: get your own damn look. Stop pirating my era! But at 70, I don’t care all that much. No one has told the fashionistas, but there are only so many ways to display or drape the human body. All the parts are the same, whether they are peeking out from a swath of fabric or bundled up in layers. Underneath? Same stuff. Surprise!

I’ve seen many comments saying it’s all baggy sweatshirts and elastic waistbands “from now on.” Well, okay, fair choice, but I must offer this: I recently had an occasion to dress up — nice pants, shiny shoes (not sneakers or slip ons), a dress shirt, a snazzy coat. Looked in the mirror and thought, “Hey you. Looking good. Some life in the old chassis after all!” I suggest you try it. Good for your self-esteem, and your sweats won’t mind.

Live long and prosper!