Home Fun & Comedy Number One Source Of Anxiety for Seniors: Being Surrounded by Morons

Number One Source Of Anxiety for Seniors: Being Surrounded by Morons

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Number One Source Of Anxiety for Seniors: Being Surrounded by Morons

They’re everywhere. In the streets, in stores, in doctors’ offices, in governmental agencies. They’re our neighbours, and they’ve infiltrated our ranks. They’re morons.

As I’ve mentioned, it’s not just young people. And the pandemic has flushed them out in record numbers. It’s manifested itself in actions and attitudes. Interestingly some people seem to think seniors are expendable. No wonder seniors are anxious!

Whenever the number of Covid-related deaths is announced, and a note is made of the number of seniors included is mentioned, it’s like an asterisk to the total number. For example, if the report says, “Ten thousand people died of Covid last week, including four thousand age 65 and over”, it’s greeted with a, “Oh, so it’s really just six thousand. Those old guys were in death’s waiting room anyway.”

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Early on, Texas -Lieutenant Governor, Dan Patrick, indicated seniors were ready to die to stimulate the economy. Speak for yourself. “Remember the Alamo” was a dynamic call to action in its day. “Remember the Walmart”, not so much.

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I’m getting suspicious when people asked to see my driver’s license.

I think they might be checking to see if I’m an organ donor. I expect them to say, “Hey, you going to be using that liver for very long?” Here’s a tip for seniors trying to expand their followers on social media. On your bio, mention you’re an organ donor. See if you don’t get more interaction with young people with a drinking problem.

Why do people feel the need to talk very slowly to me when I disagree with them?

Years ago I was dealing with my father’s life insurance after his death. When asking about a certain point I knew was inaccurate, the clerk began talking to me very slowly.

My response was to say as slowly as I could, “I can talk slow too. It doesn’t help. It’s just making me madder.” I then was transferred to someone else who helped me resolve the situation.

The moral of the story: No matter how slowly you say something stupid, it doesn’t help. It actually escalates the situation

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If my age is becoming an issue, why don’t I get more solicitations to run for public office?

It seems that I’m bombarded with ads that encourage me to get a walk-in tub, hearing aid, or check my medicare plan. I wonder why these people aren’t asking me to run for public office? Most of the most powerful people in the country are older than I am. That must mean old people are smart.

Apparently, politicians get more adept at their job as they get older, but the rest of us get more feeble, physically and mentally. I’m amazed at how few people are looking to me for leadership. Instead, they seem intent on scamming my social security check. As if I can’t read a scam because I’m too old.

Fortunately, my friend, the Nigerian Prince, still has confidence in me.

Ah, the health care system.

My mother is in an assisted living facility. It heartens me that they are so conscientious about screening me when I go to see her. Even though I’m vaccinated, I jump through the hoops. Interestingly, while I do all of that, the people involved in her care may or may not be vaccinated. Huh?

A person lying on the ground with tigers Description automatically generated with medium confidence

And the way people drive!

They speed, they don’t use turn signals, run stoplights, text while they drive, or do any one of a number of questionable things. Some of them even drive at night! It’s really dangerous on the road.

I’ve even been passed while doing the speed limit. Oh, the humanity!

The best we can do is keep ourselves sharp physically and mentally. Where are those Jack LeLanne workout tapes?