When ignorance is not bliss and knowledge is power.
My 64-year-old mother packed her weekend bag and boarded a train to visit my twin sister. My twin was an actress and lived in Oslo. The train ride was a nice two-hour trip, passing through Norways’ beautiful countryside. Drinking coffee, smoking cigarettes, and reading, the ride was a pleasure.
The following Monday, when she was back home, my Mom called me. I was living in New York, but we spoke by phone at least once a week. She briefed me on the Oslo weekend. Besides enjoying the family and her little grandson, my mother had met interesting people, visited the theater, and enjoyed gourmet dining.
At the end of our phone conversation, she added another story.
She told me that while in Oslo, when my twin was out doing errands, she had experienced a brief episode of feeling discombobulated. Her balance was off, the vision was blurry, and she had difficulty speaking. She said her right hand felt numb when she tried to make a phone call.
I listened as my Mum told the story.
Grateful that the symptomatic episode was brief, we were both relieved that she now felt much better and that her body function was back to normal.
At the end of the same week, another sister, a nurse who lived in a different town, called me. As calmly as she could, she said that Mamma was in the hospital. She had experienced a stroke. Despite being unable to speak, paralysed on her right side, and unable to walk, her mind was clear, my sister said. “And, she is in good spirits,” she added.
At the other end of the Atlantic Ocean, my life was busy. I was in my 30’s, a mother of three, a part-time nursing student, and a weekend New York City tour guide for Scandinavian tourists. My husband worked in Manhattan and depended on a daily four-hour commute back and forth from Long Island, where we lived.
Immediately, I started jumping through hoops to rearrange daily activities. My husband, children, and everyone else had to manage without me, for as long as that took. My mother needed me.
Less than two days later, I was in Norway, sitting at my mother’s bedside. It was the same hospital where I had a tonsillectomy at age five. I was told the sequence that led up to my mother’s stroke.
A third sister, a choreographer who lived in a town nearby, but had a dance studio close to my mother’s house, told me the story. The story was patched together. It was figured out and later confirmed by my Mum.
A few days after our Monday phone call, my mother had attended a friend’s funeral. Later in the evening, after the funeral, she was in the upstairs bathroom getting ready for bed. Suddenly the stroke hit her. She had no recollection of it ever happening.
Regaining consciousness, she found herself lying on the bathroom floor. She knew that she had suffered a stroke. My mother, an outstanding athlete from swimming and ice speed skating in her youth, had always maintained some of her strength.
Somehow, she was able to crawl from the bathroom and into her bedroom, which was a distance of six-to-seven yards.. She kept a telephone at her bedside table.
My mother had an ongoing morning ritual that included more than coffee. Her dearest friend from childhood, and her daughters’ beloved Tante Ruth, would call. Every morning that phone call came through the line. This morning was no exception, thank goodness.
My mother was able to pick up the phone with her left hand. She then babbled unrecognisable sounds into the phone.
Alarmed, Tante Ruth called my dance sister right away. “I just called your mother. Either she is drunk out of her mind, or something terrible has happened. And, I know she is not drunk,” she said. These were her exact words.
My sister called the ambulance. She then ran off, and left whatever she was doing to partake in the beginning the drama, the never ending drama that all stroke patients and their families must endure.
Could the stroke have been averted?
I had a chance to possibly prevent that stroke. When my mother was describing her episode of feeling out of sorts, blurry vision, difficulty speaking, and right arm numbness, red alert emergency signs should have popped into my head.
I must have told her to see a doctor, but did I tell her that immediate medical attention was critical? Her description of the scary episode included textbook symptoms of a transient ischemic attack (TIA). These are the common warning signs of a sudden onset of a TIA, according to the American Heart Association (AHA):
- Weakness, numbness, or paralysis on one side of your body.
- Slurred speech or difficulty understanding others.
- Blindness in one or both eyes.
- Dizziness.
- Severe headache with no apparent cause.
At times, called a mini stroke, a TIA signals a temporary blockage of blood flow to the brain. It usually resolves on its own after a few minutes, but often it is a warning sign of an impending stroke.
Getting immediate medical attention, preferably within the first 24 hours, can be a life saver. Without delay, a TIA patient will be assessed for past and current medical history, will undergo imaging to check patency of the blood vessels, angiography, and or an MRI or a CT scan of the head. A neurologist will be called in for consultation to determine the patient’s risk for a future stroke.
Today is my mother’s 100th birthday in heaven. To honour her, I will share risk factors and warning signs of a stroke. That way, something good may come out of her suffering. The information may help someone else to avert a stroke, the way I could not help my Mum. Knowledge is power.
What is a stroke and what is the prevalence?
Every 40 seconds, someone in the United States has a stroke. – Centres for Disease Control Stroke Facts
Most strokes are caused by a blockage in the blood vessels, ischemic, that delivers blood to the brain. When there is no blood flow, the brain does not get oxygen and nutrients. The brain cells then begin to die.
Some strokes may be caused by a blood vessel that bursts, hemorrhagic, causing internal bleeding. This puts pressure in the brain and damages the cells.
A stroke is a medical emergency. It may cause permanent disability and death. The extent of the damage depends on location and severity of the stroke and how quickly the patient was treated. Getting to the emergency room fast can save brain tissue and lives. The quicker the treatment, the more brain tissue is saved.
A stroke is not always a death sentence.
Many stroke patients experience minimal damage, improve the status quo, and learn to adopt a therapeutic lifestyle. I used to tell my Mom that the stroke saved her life. She stopped smoking, lost weight, and her blood pressure was better controlled.
With therapy and rehabilitation, stroke survivors can live full and happy lives.
After the stroke, and less than a year of rehabilitation, my mother continued to live in her own home. Her speech improved, she learned to walk with a cane, took care of herself, cooked, baked, and continued to visit her daughters on the weekend. She even came to visit me in New York more than once after the stroke.
Resourcefulness became her middle name. She never stopped to amaze us with how she managed her activities of daily living with one arm, one hand. She never complained.
Still, life as she knew it, before the stroke, was gone. But she remained positive, productive, and made remarkable progress. Her optimism and love of life inspired everyone around her. She was verbal about missing her pre-stroke activities, but continued to enjoy her new life, despite limitations.
The one good thing we can say about strokes is that most of them can be avoided.
Up to 80 percent of strokes can be prevented with a healthy lifestyle. According to the American Heart Association (AHA), here are five critical steps to help prevent a stroke. Chances are, you probably know this, but read and share with friends and family anyway. Remember, knowledge is power.
- Stop smoking. As hard as it is, if you still smoke, stop. I used to smoke cigarettes but quit almost 25 years ago. Like any addiction, a commitment to stop is the first step.
- Exercise. Physical activities that we enjoy bring health and a sense of well-being to both body and mind. Get the heart pumping and the blood running.
- Keep blood pressure under control. High blood pressure is so common that many of us don’t fret about it. But a healthy blood pressure is at, or lower than 120/80.
- Eat a healthy diet. Here we go again, nothing that you don’t know; eat more fruit and vegetables, less saturated fats, and limited salt and sugar intake.
- Start early. If you think that you are too young to take precautions against a stroke, think again. My father was only 41 when he died from a heart attack. A stroke affects the stroke survivor and the family.
The main person to suffer with the consequences of a stroke is the patient. The pain of watching a loved one struggle is devastating beyond words. But everyone in the family is affected, spouse and children.
Grandchildren, born and unborn, will never know the love and support from a grandparent. Generational culture is lost, stories, and traditions.
Life is forever changed for everybody.
The reason for including my sisters’ professions and place of residence was to demonstrate that all my mother’s daughters were leading full lives, with families and jobs. Everyone had to travel to visit and help. This we did, without fail for almost 20 years.
Today is my Mum’s birthday in heaven. Her strength was remarkable and she will always be my hero. With pride and pleasure, I wear her aprons when I cook. Quite often, I talk with her, like I am a crazy old lady. Her name was Ingrid and I adored her.
