I Haven’t Weighed This Little In More Than 40 Years
What is with these bras lately? I thought. They’re all stretched out. And jeans, they’re baggy too.
This was my thinking over the past month or so. My underwear and jeans were mysteriously loose. I figured they were wearing out.
For the past 10 or 15 years, I’ve weighed around 115. I’ve been comfortable with that weight. I’m 5-foot-1, flexible and have good muscle tone. That weight felt about right.
A few days ago, I took a good look in the mirror after a shower. My breasts were just not as full as they used to be. Hmmm, I must have lost weight, I thought. Five pounds, I guess; maybe eight.
That can’t be right
I finally got on the scale. I took my shoes off, left my clothes on, and looked down at the digital display: 100.4.
What? That can’t be right.
I got off, then back on: 100.4.
I haven’t weighed 100 pounds in more than four decades. I distinctly remember aiming for 100 pounds more than 40 years ago because I was dying to fit into a pair of bright scarlet skinny satin pants.
When I finally got down to 100 pounds, those scarlet satin pants looked so good with my white sequined halter top! And bonus, I could still breathe. And I could still perform on stage for a whole night without passing out.
But that didn’t last long. I gravitated up to 105, then 110, and stayed there for a number of years. At one point, in my mid-thirties, I got up to 130 pounds—the result of working downtown, sitting in an office, eating rich downtown food for lunch most days.
For the past 20 years or so, I’ve weighed around 115. That’s been comfortable; I’m flexible and fit.
But, 100 pounds? I was shocked. I hadn’t even tried. I hadn’t even noticed, really.
This is puzzling
Should I get out my sewing machine and stitch the saggy seams? Or will the weight come back as mysteriously as it left?
Of course, like most American women, I’ve often dreamed of being a few pounds lighter. At various points in my life, I’ve gone on diets and sworn off favourite foods to lose weight.
I eventually read a book (now out of print) titled “The I-Hate-to-Diet Book.” In it, the author said she’d suffered through every diet imaginable, beginning around age 12. She’d lose weight and gain it back, like the proverbial yoyo. Finally, she’d had enough. She decided she wouldn’t diet ever again. But she had a couple of rules:
- Only eat what you want (no substituting bargain-priced ice cream if what you really want is a hot fudge sundae from your favourite ice cream parlour)
- Only eat as much as you want (no finishing your plate if you’re not enjoying it)
And, surprise, she started losing weight and getting healthy.
That’s how this happened. I only ate what I really wanted, and I didn’t eat if I didn’t really feel like it. I’m not my refrigerator’s garbage can.
Now, if I continue like this, maybe I’ll lose even more weight. Is that even possible? At this rate, in three years, I’d disappear.
But I do have to say, I like weighing 100 pounds. It feels like there’s less fat to muck up the system. I feel strong and compact.
Muscle tone?
Maybe I’ve just suddenly lost muscle and bone density. I don’t think so. I feel muscular. I do yoga every day, which calls for balancing and isometrics that build muscle.
Bone density? I’ll have to get back to you on that.
According to WebMD:
“As you get older, you start to lose lean body mass like muscle and bone density. As early as age 30, our lean body mass starts to drop by a little over half a pound each year. You might not notice a change when you step on the scale, because the lean weight you lost is often replaced by fat.”
But this wasn’t just a half a pound in the past year. It’s 15 pounds in the past six months.
I’m sure you want to know how it happened.
Well, there’s loneliness
There have been many times in the past six months when I just didn’t feel like eating. Alone. Again.
I love breakfast … that wonderful cup of coffee. Toast or granola and yogurt and banana. I so appreciate the good fortune I have to enjoy a delicious breakfast every day.
And I really look forward to lunch … a veggie burger or soup; maybe leftovers from supper, or a big salad.
But dinner? I usually don’t do anything strenuous during the day, so my body doesn’t really need more food. If it’s the third meal of the day, and I’m alone, it’s become easy to just skip it.
My husband isn’t a supper-time eating kind of person, so he doesn’t guard that time of day. He’ll forget the time, caught up in various tasks, or he’ll be on a Zoom call or out doing errands. Family dinner time, no matter how much I’ve nudged for it, hasn’t been a strong habit in our home.
And I finally started forgetting about supper time, too.
So, I guess you could say I was intermittent fasting. I’d eat breakfast and lunch, and from 1 p.m. to 7 a.m. the next day, I’d frequently go without food. Sometimes I’d have a handful of nuts and a wine glass graced with pink cranberry juice (which I pretend is the finest blush wine).
This wasn’t every day, but looking back, that happened more often than not in the past six months.
And then there’s stress
A recent survey, Stress in America 2022, conducted by The Harris Poll for the American Psychological Association, shows a beaten-down American psyche.
I’m feeling that beating, too.
People are reporting a deluge of external stressors that are mostly out of their control. A majority of adults are disheartened by political divisiveness, upset about widespread violence, and discouraged by historic inflation levels, the survey found.
Life isn’t easy even without all of those external stressors. Personal or relational or work issues that arise seem to be amplified by the backdrop of rising tensions nationally and globally.
So, you wanna lose weight? Substitute some lonely, stressful times for your regular mealtimes. It’ll fall right off.
It’s good to eat less
Eating less as we age is a good thing, though, according to research featured in a BBC article, which declared:
Permanently cutting the daily calories you consume may turn out to have a profound effect on your future life, according to some tantalising scientific studies.
In the late 1980s, one trial at the National Institute on Aging and another at the University of Wisconsin set out to study calorie restriction and aging in Rhesus monkeys. Humans share 93 percent of our DNA with these monkeys, and we age in the same way.
All the monkeys were given all the nutrients they needed, but one group was given 30 percent fewer calories. Both the NIA and University of Wisconsin trials resulted in the calorie-restricted monkeys having lower incidence of diabetes and cancer. They seemed not to age, the article said.
So, there you have it: I lost weight, but didn’t mean to. It was easy, but the rest of life wasn’t.
I wouldn’t recommend the stress and loneliness in this diet plan, but if it happens to you, it’ll probably improve your physical health.
May you eat all you want, but no more; and may you enjoy every bite. That’s my wish for you.
And may our world calm the f*** down.
