I recently decided I should borrow a Honda to review. I chose the Jazz because this is the car that converted my mum to the brand, but before I had the chance to try it out someone who shall remain nameless (save to say she’s called Lisa Hogan, and she’s my girlfriend) nicked it for a quick trip to the farm shop and forgot to stop turning the steering wheel after the corner was over. It wasn’t a big tree she hit. More of a shrub, really, but it was obviously a sturdy old thing because the damage it did was enormous. Even the roof was stoved in.
The Jazz was therefore taken away on the back of a truck and a few weeks later it was replaced by the new Civic. This is possibly the dreariest looking car I’ve ever seen, and to make my shoulders sag even more a small “eHEV” badge on the back suggested it was some kind of eco version with two engines. Naturally I asked the nameless person if she’d like to drive this into a tree as well, to put it out of my misery, but she declined.
So off I went and straight away my senses were tickled by not being tickled at all. I know the roads around my house, and I know that many of them are quite bumpy. But in the Civic I couldn’t feel any of the irregularities at all. It was like being in a hovercraft, only with steering and nice seats and controls that make sense. I’m going to stick my neck out now and say that if you are looking for the last word in comfort, and you can’t afford an S-class Mercedes-Benz or a Rolls-Royce Phantom, this is your best bet. It’s uncanny. And quite brilliant.
Then it gets interesting as well. No one seems to have worked out yet how a hybrid car should operate. Everyone’s experimenting with different ideas, and on paper Honda’s solution is stupid. This, you see, is an electric car. Its electrical motor is what drives you along. And then to charge it up there’s a two-litre, petrol-powered generator, which – and this is where things get complicated – can occasionally be used to power the wheels if you want to go quickly. If you want to go really quickly you can put it in Sport mode and then, as you get to the red line, there’s an artificial but hilarious motorcycle soundtrack that will make you want to stretch it to the limit in the next gear as well.
Only there’s no gearbox. I have read the blurb many times and I cannot work out how the petrol engine can power the wheels without one, but there we are. Instead, you get what we used to call a continuously variable transmission. Only it didn’t feel like a CVT system to me. It felt like a normal automatic.
And that’s probably the most amazing thing about this car: its normality. Underneath there’s all kinds of witchcraft and unicorn magic going on, but from behind the wheel it behaves just like every other family run-around. The only difference is that when you use the paddles, you effectively brake the car, which helps charge the battery pack.
I don’t like electric cars, but I’m forced to admit that for those who do, or those who want to get 4.2 litres per 100km from a family hatchback, this car makes a good deal of sense. It’s so eco, in fact, that if you encounter any global warmingists who’ve glued themselves to the road to stop the traffic, it’s entirely likely they will tear their own hands off to let you by. They certainly should.
And Honda says that its fairy dust engineering means the battery will have a longer life than some electric cars, which means a) the Civic should hold its value pretty well and b) that fewer child slaves are needed to mine the components to make new car batteries.
So, it’s comfortable, cheap to run, kind to child slaves and, despite the fact it doesn’t really have a gearbox, it’s easy to use. It’s also spacious, and built to a higher standard than almost anything else in the world. Not that you care. Because if you’ve read this far into a car review, the chances are you’re a petrolhead, so you are not going to be even slightly interested in a hybrid Civic hatchback. And if by some miracle you’ve read this far and you’re not a petrolhead, you’re not interested in a hybrid Civic hatchback either, because you would much prefer an SUV of some sort.
This Civic eHEV – such an ugly name – is almost certainly the best option there is for people who need a car. Rather than want one. It’s as though Honda has realised that in the sensible times that lie ahead, people will need a sensible car.
Honda Civic 2.0 eHEV Advance
ENGINE: 2.0-litre, 4-cylinder petrol plus two electric motors (135kW/315Nm); fuel economy 4.2 litres per 100km
TRANSMISSION: Automatic, front-wheel drive
PRICE: $55,000
