Just because you get older doesn’t mean necessarily mean losing your independence…
I have long admired my cousin. She is a beautiful, independent woman who has lived alone and taken care of herself for most of her life.
Her wedding is one of the first memories that I have. I was probably about three, so she would have been in her mid-twenties then. She moved away, and I rarely saw her after that.
Later she divorced and didn’t choose to re-marry. Instead, she became an independent woman who lived by herself, made her own decisions, and took care of herself. She had a job that she liked, and she was happy living by herself.
You have to admire that. So many women in her generation were brought up to be a helpmate to a man. She didn’t choose to do that. She decided to live life on her own terms.
I spent a weekend with her when I was in my twenties. I drove her mother to visit her, and we three had a nice visit. It was the first time that I was able to get to know her as an adult. She and I had more in common than I realised. She is outspoken like me and has a love for animals.
Later, she moved to the Atlanta area so she could be closer to her mother and brother. I’m not sure why she chose Atlanta, but maybe it was because she liked the feel of a bigger city, and she would have a better chance of finding a job.
Twenty years later, she is still there. Even though she is in her 80’s, she is living independently. She had no problem driving in Atlanta traffic. She zips in and out of her neighbourhood with no issues. The last time I drove through Atlanta, I had a panic attack.
My sister and I visited her last week. I am ashamed that it took us this long to get around to doing that.
These days my cousin is living in a cute apartment in a vintage building.
And oh my, the stairs! They were so steep, and there was no elevator. So that was the topic of our first discussion. She hadn’t lived there long, so why did she choose a building with stairs?
“Well, why not?” she replied. “I’m careful on those stairs, and they keep me healthier by providing me with exercise. I go up and down them at least twice a day.”
One reason she leaves her apartment is to go to her water aerobics class. This statement led to our next discussion on the importance of exercise.
“You have to keep exercising!” she states. “I keep my body very limber, and I can tell how much it helps me.”
She isn’t wrong!
We went out to lunch, and as we left her apartment, I watched her navigate those stairs with no problem. As for myself? When we came back after lunch and waited for her to open her door, I found myself sitting down in a chair in the hallway. I needed to catch my breath, and I hoped no one would notice!
We spent a wonderful afternoon catching up. We had the bonus of the company of her niece, who had come for a visit. It was a great afternoon of catching up and reminiscing about the family.
In spite of our age differences, I realized that another thing that my cousin has in common with me is that she was a teacher. She was working in Albany, Georgia, during the civil rights era.
She mentioned working in the school system when Martin Luther King, Jr. came to integrate the schools. She spoke positively about the experience and thought that it was a good thing for that time.
I questioned her a little bit to see if she had heard King speak, but she didn’t remember many details about her life back then. It was, after all, sixty years ago.
When I got home, I looked it up and was surprised about what I found. It was called the Albany movement. Martin Luther King, Jr. came to Albany to help integrate the schools. He ended up serving time in jail. Despite the many arrests at the time, all protests stayed peaceful, which was King’s way of doing things.
How amazing that my cousin was part of a historical movement! I would never have known had I not visited her!
My cousin may be in her 80’s, but she is living a fulfilling life. She has no problem getting herself to the airport and traveling to visit her nephews who live in another state. If she has a problem with her car, she figures out a way to get it taken care of.
She is taking care of her life and doing it well.
My hat is off to her!
