Little acts of domestic anarchy: Don’t let retirement become banal.
The year 2021 brought many challenges. For those who have retired, it threw them into an enforced bubble, consigned to spending every day with their partner (or in some cases alone), reducing the possibilities of seeing anywhere beyond their immediate environment. It was a relationship maker or breaker for couples.
Every day was the same.
The only activity to look forward to was the daily walk (for those who had the physical ability to manage it).
If we had been given prior warning as to what life was going to be like, I guess we would have approached it a bit differently. As it was, we embraced technology as an essential tool to allow us to communicate with others and as a source for purchasing anything from toilet rolls to sewing machines. Crafting and baking became the go-to entertainment as we tired of television repeats.
How could we have done it differently?
How can we punctuate that stultifying daily routine with some unexpected cheerfulness?
I propose little acts of domestic anarchy.
1. Throw away the alarm clock.
Get up when you wake up. Does it matter if you sleep in now and then? If you naturally wake early, take the opportunity to enjoy the sunrise. It’s a great time for writers, when the brain is fresh and brimming full of ideas. Listen to your inner clock.
2. Have you got some unpaired socks that linger at the back of the drawer, hopelessly waiting to find their partner?
Just wear them. Who cares if your socks don’t match. When did it become de rigeur to wear matching socks anyway? Don’t believe that maxim: matching socks make happy feet. Embrace difference and allow your feet to have some freedom of expression.
3. Now and again have champagne for breakfast.
Let the giggles commence. Don’t forget to dress up for the occasion (champagne and panamas are not suitable companions). Once opened, the bottle has to be finished as champagne doesn’t keep. You can dilute it with orange juice if neat champagne early in the morning is a little too harsh on your stomach. Perhaps it might be wise to make sure you have some antacids in the cupboard on standby duty.
4. Mow the lawn with curves.
Long sweeping curves instead of straight up and down lines. Leave islands of long grass for wildlife. Let your garden smile instead of forcing it into a rigid pattern. The birds and insects will love you for it. You might even start a neighbourhood trend.
5. Skip lunch and make a special 3 or 4 course dinner.
Dress up and eat outside on the patio if the weather is amenable. Themed clothing is an option. Have a check list of conversational topics ready because you don’t want to resort to small talk. Fix the world’s problems over dinner. Don’t rush. If you invite guests, make sure they are aware of the topics for conversation and the rules of engagement. Take notes or make a recording. It could end up as a successful screenplay.
6. Do the housework naked.
Let’s face it, you are going to get all hot and sweaty anyway. Why add to the washing pile when a simple shower is all you need when you are finished? Think of the environment. The cost of washing and drying that set of clothing is easily saved by adopting this strategy. Best to warn the house guests before you start and remember to have a robe hung by the front door in case there is an unexpected knock or parcel delivery.
7. Now that the bath is redundant
Because you only ever shower (and though you don’t like to admit it, it has become too difficult to get in and out), make it into a miniature tropical jungle. It’s easy to manage the watering and the humidity levels in the bathroom will support all sorts of exotic plants. You could get a parrot, if funds allow, to add some authenticity.
8. Convert that small spare room
…(which is never used) into a ‘bounce’ room. Attach mattresses all around the walls and cover the floor with inflatables. You and the grandchildren will have endless fun. It will have the added benefit of safely providing exercise to your core muscles.
I hope that you have gained some inspiration from these random thoughts.
Life is too short to be entirely conforming.
