Hey, Retirees, How Would You Answer My Have any of you old-timers been questioned about growing older?
Well, I hope these questions from a younger person will help you on your ageing journey.
My granddaughter used me to complete her course of study on the ageing population. It delighted me she included me in her research paper.
My college student granddaughter posed these questions four years ago. I was seventy-four. Now, I’m seventy-eight, less than a month away from turning seventy-nine.
Here are five of her sixteen questions with my answers.
Now four years later, have any of my responses changed?
“Grandpa, Thank you so much for taking the time to complete this interview. I figured it was an excellent opportunity to learn a little more about you. And to better understand elders in general! My assignment is to observe or interview a particular age group. I am to analyse you regarding age-related specific concepts we have been studying.”
Did you know young people are analysing the age group we inhabit?
She questioned me on my self-perception:
“When people treat older individuals as frail and confused, does this, in turn, cause dependence, thus limiting the elder’s capabilities? In your life, do you feel peoples’ perception of your abilities as an elder (based on social stigmas) become self-fulfilling prophecies? Then, does this perception limit your physical abilities?”
Four years ago, I answered:
I have not, to my knowledge, experienced treatment from people about my abilities. Most people guess me to be in my sixties rather than in my mid-seventies. Doing so places me in a lower age group than my actual age. So, I do not seem to be “elderly,” I guess. My age does afford me some latitude with others on what they expect me to be capable of doing. So, in that regard, it is somewhat of a self-fulfilling prophecy that benefits me.
At my age now, seventy-eight, I no longer get asked to move furniture when family or friends move. People are guessing me as my actual age; I look the part now. Slow and steady is my pace now, not only in walking but even in my thinking. My self-perception is coming into focus.
Then she questioned my brain function:
“Do you feel your intellect has increased or decreased with age? Do you stimulate your brain often?”
I have become much more intentional in stimulating my brain over the last four or five years. I retired after serving for 24 years from a full-time church position in May 2013. Challenging myself to think has always been my prerogative. I’m an avid reader of books, articles, and daily posts on the computer. Additionally, I write articles for blog posts (By the way, thanks for reading this one). I would say that I have a healthy intellect.
Today, I read; it’s my favourite pastime, so it hasn’t changed much over these past four years.
The shrinking social circle was her next question:
“Studies show that, with age, social circles tend to shrink. Toxic relationships decrease and good ones develop stronger bonds. Do you feel you have maintained a similar number of friendships? Have you gained more? Or are you focused on a smaller group?”
In giving some thought to this, I realise that my circle of friends has become smaller. But my friends are closer in relational interaction. Toxic relationships have fallen by the wayside. I try to mend even tricky relationships, but when impossible, I drop them and move on. Life is too short to tolerate toxicity!
Friendships mean a lot to me. I nourish them the best I can. I aim to be loyal to my family and friends.
My answer now: Since my granddaughter posed this question, circumstances have changed. Especially over the last year. Covet-19 took us where we didn’t want to go. But more than this, I get to be the caregiver to my wife. I’m delighted to serve her; she is my treasure.
Another question: What effect do my memories have on my life now?
“Do you find yourself looking back over your life and examining your role in the history of humanity? Do you desire a life’s account, such as an autobiography, to share the experiences you have had and lessons you have learned?”
Wow! I have many memories, mostly good which far outweigh the not-so-good ones in my life.
In examining my role in the history of humanity, family is my contribution to the human race. A close second is a Christian community, and third, friends.
Fran and I have 47 years of marriage behind us. When I married Fran, I had one daughter from a previous marriage and she had three young children. Later we had a son of our own, making five children in our family. I emotionally adopted her three children, raising them to adulthood. We released our adult children to choose their life course. Speaking into people’s lives in 15 nations of the world has been memorable and inspiring to me.
Even at this age, I have much to offer others about vision, wisdom and direction. An autobiography would be a good option for me to take.
Now I’m married fifty-one years. I retired eight years ago. I hope I have influenced others to take an optimistic view of life. We are like books with chapters; Some chapters are excellent, others, not so much. When I finish reading a chapter, I do not throw the book away. I turn the page; there’s more to the story. Same with life. When one of our life’s chapters doesn’t turn out the way we like, don’t despair, turn the page.
Next on her questionnaire: The retirement community option:
“Many elders move to a retirement home, while others remain in their homes. Does staying at your present home give you a sense of self-sufficiency? Would you feel you’d be giving up your independence by moving into an elderly-focused neighbourhood?”
The option of moving to a retirement community is something we are considering. Living in our own home gives us much satisfaction along with a sense of self-sufficiency and security. My concern is first for my wife. I want her to live in a secure environment. Retirement community living frees us from the upkeep of our house and property. Still not sure we will do this, but we are considering this option.
Now, in 2020 this happened. Well, we made a decision, then we changed the decision. We did make a non-refundable deposit in a lovely Continuing Care Retirement Community. We even purchased furniture. But fifteen days before our move-in date, we pulled the plug. We could not see leaving our home of twenty-five years. Someday we’ll reconsider.
I’ve shared my granddaughter’s five questions. I gave you my answers as they were then. I wrote what my answers look like now.
How would you answer these questions? Did one question resonate with you more than the others? Why?
